zzZz

over but not complete

2007-07-03T17:34:00.000+08:00

hmm..just realised got several months nv blog le..lol..nearly forgotten bout this blog till martin mention to me couple of days ago..having a few days break now after exam..feel more relaxed now but still theres more to come..for some reason i am feeling very tired...not as the literal sense of tired but i seems to be lost..lol..sound quite lame but i feel like as if i have lost wadsoever aims tat i have..it is like i am just moving day by day...

sch still the same..tomoro gonna have boring lects and tuts again...think i kind of screw up terms as usual...can be considered as very lucky if i can get 2 h2 pass lol...theres no motivation to study n the contents is like increasing overwhelming...maybe i shouldnt have chose this combi which got 3 memo subs...kinda stress to squeeze tat much into the mind...ac seems quite of boring now...or maybe all schs r tat way..haix..maybe some interesting stuff will corp up soon..lol

everyone in the family seems dam busy nowadays...seldom have chance to talk to anyone of them anymore...even the house seems very quiet with most days preparing n eating dinner on my own..kinda used to it le..time really seems to be making a fool of me la..for days like this when i got bulk of time i got nothing to do but for days pack with stuff more things just keep coming in...maybe tats life...u wont get wad u really want..

and oh ya..table tennis..lol..seriously tt is not my first choice..playing it once in a while for reacre is still ok..but as a cca to play every week...i dunno how to get going man...who else to blame but me...my sucky procastinating to join a cca till i realise a bit late le..haix...no choice liao...just got to train till some imba standard now...

for gals...still no one tat give me the desire to push the relationship further...lol..maybe the time is still not rite bah...but hope tat feeling tat i get a few years ago will return to me soon...life getting dry without any new things...for my friends..hope everythings fine for u all..especially my sec sch friends..wont have tat much time to interact with u all after sch reopen le..jia you...
hope to be the confident and attention seeking xk tat u all know once again...so long for now.....

2007-04-17T20:22:00.000+08:00

excatly one month have past since i last blogged. times really flies doesnt it..i have been in ac for more than a month since and i must say i quite like it. ac is like totally a new environment from rv in almost all aspect espcially the teachers and students(the campus i wont say much..look nice only interior sucks dam old). teachers there dun scold as much instead they sarca u until u embrassed de and this is one reason i hate being pick out by any teacher...wont be any gd stuff...

students lol...definatly more outstanding than rv ppl...i seen some guys and gals tat caught my attention straight la..so stun by their look, their bodies(not gals but guys with imba muscles) and the way they talk...dam confident like as if they dun give a dam to anyone else..to be honest i dun know if i will be as comfortable if there r not as many rvians as now..seen a lot of familiar faces around and tat dun make me feel so alone..

yesterday just had a talk with tues after so long...like we have not talk for weeks le..i realised tat martin's gal is really tat url he pasted to me lol but i seirously didnt think tat shes hes type..but well i feel happy for him now tat he had gotten out of joan's shadow finally..lol 4 years le..still shou hou..me and tues for some reason felt tat relationship is something we dun want now...i dunno y..but for me i really dun feel the need to get into a relationship anymore..is like my class seriously got some not bad gals but i just feel tat i have much more important things to do...like my studies which i neglected so much in sec4 due to her...i dun want to get into the same sitution anymore..or perhapes is just tat i cant get over her yet..

whenever she comes online i feel the urge to talk to her but it has been so long...its time to put things down..for me and her..if ac have so outstanding ppl i dun see y rj will have less..its for her to go for better choice which she deserve..have i really gotten over really dunno...but one thing for certain i want to do well now...i want to have a fresh start put down those old pressure..i really hope man..every morning i listen to devotions and chapel..really hope tat there is a god..i dun care is jeus or wad chinese,muslim,hindu god...i just want to know tat there is someone up there indeed willing to help me...

all the best for u man..u dun seems to be happy now..jia you in your life..i will be much happier if i see u happy n for tat i know is true..gd luck

2007-03-17T14:39:00.000+08:00

been a long time since my last blog..feeling very bored so i went to look at other ppl's blog like martin ben and tues and to my surprise they have all be consistantly blogging lol...
times seems to flying and i am now in ac though i feel that i have been too hasty in choosing my combi..but well wads done have been done so just got to try my best and do wad i can...

i wont comment much bout ac yet cause i still dun feel much bout this school but their orientation really sucks as compare to jj's..but well lets hope ac is really as fun and exciting as wad i had heard..think i got much to catch up in terms of studies..been slacking and ponning too much lesson during pae period le and now hoping tat the remindial lectures will provide me with all i need..

life seems to be as normal but relationships between me and my friends seems closer...friends like ben martin tues and the rest had nv seems as close as to each other than now..probably is because we wont see each other in school again tats y we treasure the time we r able to come out as a group have fun and enjoy each other company...i wont talk more bout the killercrossover ball as others have been blogging bout it quite a bit but i am looking foward to try it out man lol..

regarding her i must say i have finally manage to get her out of my mind...it has really been too long but there is really a need for me to move on..she seems to have found another guy in rj from wad louis had told me and maybe this has been the finishing point for this tiring unknown feeling bout her..found this book in my shelf titled 《会有天使替我爱你〉..it is a chinese book but i particularly like a certain para in the book and hope tat it will come true for her...

即使你已经不再爱我了,即使你已经忘记我了
即使我已经从这个世界消失
我依然会爱着你
我会去找一个天使让他替我爱你

2006-12-11T01:45:00.000+08:00

hmmm...it is 1.45 now currently watching arsenal winning chelsea and yeah tats the way i want it.lol...manu r 6 points clear now..haix..the sense of guilt is increasing as the holidays passed man..like quite alot of ppl have a job now and r working but i am still at home slacking occasionally helping dad but tats diff case la..even though i kept telling myself tat from now till cristmas theres only 2 weeks now and no ppl in the right mind will hire a 16 year old inexperience boy for a job for 2 weeks..but the sense of guilt is just there la...zzzz and oh fuk.......chelsea equalise..haix..things just dun go the way we want dun they..tats how life goes lol.

tomoro going out with the 2j boys but some reason i dun feel enthu..true tat we had not have a gathering for ages and this might be the last we r having with no class chalet going on and stuff..but i just dun feel enthu...haix..mood swing happens so often nowadays.i worry bout this and feel sad bout tat..maybe tats part of growing up..everynite at this period of day my mood turns down because of o lev....yeah true olev is over but the fact tat the result is the impactful one still remains..throughout my scondary school life i had yet to achieve one result sheet tat is up to satisfactory and this cert is one tat i cannot cok up tats y this uneasy feeling kept haunting me...
oo..the match end le..1-1 not bad la at least chelsea didnt win.lol..

her birthday is coming soon...i realli want to get her a bday present and wish her happi birthday for the last time..but it seems ages tat i last spoke to her and it also seems tat another better guy had appeared..haix..i realli dunno wad to do liao..tues even have this stupid idea of getting a present and take it to her house wish her happi bday and leave..impratical totally crappy but not impossible.........haix..wad should i do theres no one to help or advice me i realli dunno....shall it end all like this but considering the fact tat she didnt even wish me happi bday then...am i realli thinking too much..haix..i dunno i realli dunno...i am being to hate decision making...they r just too painful to make..life realli suks man...

lets hope this sleep will cure everything if i can sleep tonite

laming

2006-12-07T01:39:00.000+08:00

back at the blog again..for some reason i had tons to say perhaps is because of the free time tat i have ba.just quitted ro.told ben tat i have no mood to play le which is true..playin suddenly seems so unattractive to me now.still cant get over the matter but feeling much better le at least i realised tat she may be better off somewhere now..haix..dunno wad to do these days..theres still 3 weeks more to jc life but honesty i am not looking forward to it...
true tat i am not expecting to go to some excellent jc with my mid year score of 30 plus..halving the score is already some improvement though not enough..time will still pass and wad comes will still arrive but at least i am trying to enjoy this remainding holidays but it is not tat easy to forget bit and pieces of wad i went through....
still feeling very tired.this weariness never seems to fade no matter how much rest i take.perhaphs this is life.this a burden tat we all must carry till the day we die..all i want for now is a sense of relief from everything..my helplessness had lead me to nowherebut i am glad to see tat we r close to an end for everything..hope tat i could stick with this promise of mine not to talk to u till my heart dies..i dun wanna sink into despair again

so long for now..sweet dreams to u who r already in dreamland...nitez

as if time has not passed

2006-12-04T15:06:00.000+08:00

another 3 months had passed...prelim is over olevs r over and even grad nite is over...life is like wad i had expected..carefree and slacking but this is getting boring..strange to find out tat this had been the life tat i had been asking for but not anymore.at first wanted to find a job but couldnt find any and on top of tat my mood is falling..i feel tired and not only tat more of regretful..i want to go back to the past.i want to reexperience wad i went through.i want to correct the mistakes i made.i want to treasure wad i had once.i want to talk to you once more..

haix..feeling veri low rite now..doesnt feel tat bad then with all sorts of things occupying me but now with all this free time my mind began to wander..i dun know wad i want then but given the chance again i wont miss it and will never miss it but it is all too late.maybe tats y it is call the past..strange tat i always miss the past hate the present and question the future.i want to be given the chance to redo everything but i did not treasure the present like now.tat y this is call life isnt it..lol.i have so much to say so much to tell but i couldnt find a listening ear and i seems like this blog is the only audience for my feelings..no one will see this extinct blog anymore but i will contains my hardfelt feeling towards everything including to u..regrets is all i can say but to wad rights can i say i deserve to be remembered by u..let all these just be a memory a past for me something for me to learn and something for me to suffer for my own weakness

2006-08-30T22:51:00.000+08:00

another month has passed and prelim had started at last..lol.did't feel much while taking the bio paper but suddenly feel so tired after it and hope of getting gd gardes might not be there after all..went to play some soccer after tat but haix...still as bad as ever if not worse...moment i went home i hit the sack and woke up like 4 hours later with a splitting headach until now...zzz.so tempted to pon school tomoro sia..teacher's day celebration wat crap la..
life still the very same with a lot more studying and alot less day dreaming..as martin says wat is impossible remains impossible but i at least wants those possible to appear..studying seems to get more tiring and i getting more and more lazy liao..dunno can endure until when...maybe i should be praying for miracles now..i need tons of them..started with nothing but ended with wad..if onli miracles can be bought..

lazing again

2006-07-30T15:02:00.000+08:00

tsktsk...on the com again to slack..sigh seems so hard to concentrate again....weekdays seems like so busy nowadays reaching home about 7 and after all those hw i had to do got no more energy to study liao...maybe i should give up on soccer also..lol..tat day after remindial still nearly got caught by llm luckly we ran fast.now sss like getting more and more strict liao having need to account for missing days and the teacher in charge like more and more fuk up..wats this la..is like even more diffcult to study with someone breathing down your neck every moment seeing wat u r doing..zzz
days just seems to pass leaving no mark nor impressions..30 more days to prelim and i am still here..lol but at least i am planning to log off after blogging.feelings seems to have faded away as time works its magic but does absence really make the heart fonder?zzz..dunno wat i should do now..but at least i know wat i must do now tat is mugging but the point is i am not a mugger...1 month left to do wat i can do...seems like now is really not the time to start other stuff especially with all the stuff i am hearing...looks like i will need a firewall to filter my mind soon...gd luks to all the sec 4 out there

2006-07-14T17:48:00.000+08:00

woah...so long never blog liao.lol..rarely come online nowadays even if yes also for a while only..hmmm..this month is suppose to the start of my mugging and i really feel tired after all the lessons and sss in school and most of the time the only break i get is from soccer in school..seems like i am very busy this month but i dun feel a increase in my int leh..lol..ok la..at least i dun get so lost when i question is thrown at me but otherwise i dun feel much diff.maybe is because of the soccer tat i play which make me feel so tired..hmm like got 1 month never play bball match liao..seems to be playing soccer all the time now..must be because of world cup fever lol..
this month seems to pass very fast sia..same routine for everyday nothing gd or bad..but sigh..i want some excitement in my life leh...lol
dunno when i can blog again after this liao..just now really dun wanna feel like coming home immediatly so wanted to play some soccer but they wanted me to go home and get the bball for them..when i went to the bball court they r gone so i shoot some balls then saw yikxin who told me tat they r in 4d class but they r in it lor...zzz..now tio scolded like shit..sigh..boring life

=&...retal enilno r u epoh

cars

2006-06-08T23:55:00.000+08:00

went for class outing today and watch 'cars'..-.-.at first wanted to watch the omen but they later decide tat the four stars rated 'cars' was better than the two star rated omen.at first the movie was quite sian and lame but overall still not tat bad la...got some funny and lame parts here and there tat make it seems ok..then went to suzanna house for bbq...
play some pool on her pool table but i still suks at it sometimes will miss completely one..lol then went to play on her xbox then got trash by others who have been playing it all along except nba^-^lol..got the talent to play nba on any console as long as it is nba..lol..and suzanna got a very 'passionate' dog who have been trying to lick and go under ppl clothes the moment we stepped into her house-.- but lucky i not scare of dog lol..
just receive notice tat 2moro still got cip...zzz dun even know this cip do wat one but lucky is at 2...ay least can have more sleep before i go..

faith

2006-06-05T18:21:00.000+08:00

quite a long time never blog liao cause my hand cannot even type until yesterday...today is another crappy day spending two hours listening to miss lai talk about some genetic engineering stuff which i dun understand half of them..is like both classes dun even have a single one tat listen to her during the lesson..then play some soccer since my hand can't shoot a ball but my soccer really suks...got some very gd chance but i miss them all...lol..like all shoot high and wide..zzz

then just play some dota and did some housework...lum and boon ar...dun keep farming only..we 5v3 u all still wanna farm then drag the game until so long..then as usual did some housework around then went for another game of dota with ben they all..hmmm..i seems to be playing a lot again..got to stop and cut down liao..lol..should be starting my revision these two days..anyone interested in studying with me??lol

this week like got a lot of event sia...nba finals,world cup match and class bbq...hope can balance them well...sigh...these few weeks like lose a lot of confidence tat i had in the past..dun have much hope in stuffs anymore and sometimes like dun dare to do something here and there...i seems to be losing lots of faith in my work and for pple..haix..hope get my sense of confidence back real soon...really need them for the prelim and o's if not i am like a lost sheep now dun even dare to move a step anywhere...

pain...

2006-06-01T18:50:00.000+08:00

another one of my favourite rainy day....i seems to be having lots of remindial than others lol...most of the pple seems to be dismiss at 12 today but my class got to stay for another maths lesson but lucky heaven seems to be pitying us for studying in this kind of hot and suky weather there comes my rain;D..

wa...my wrist seems to hurt even and even more now even affecting my typing speed..zzz.just now after history went to play some soccer than suffer a great fall from a tackle..at first still think only suffer from some abrasion but now seems like i have also twisted my wrist..arrrrrrrrrrrr.....getting more and more painful liao..got to resort to type more slowly liao..can't even turn it a bit now..sigh..

today onli mange to do a bio assigement because of my wrist and it happen tat my writing hand is the twisted one..zzz..better let it heal fast man..if not can't do a thing though i have finish much of the holiday hw...^_^ tyty..lol at least i didn't slack too much till now and did quite a few homework...and for those pple with a working printer can someone pls help me to print the homeworks at edulearn??pls?????

sis give me quite a shock yesterday by asking me if i like any gals now..lol..quite a qn out of the blue but i couldn't give her a reply cause i dun even know how to answer the qn myself...blah....dun think i will spend too much time on this kind of issue now tat my work need seriously bucking up!!!!lol..everything will have an ending even though it may not be the ideal one but even so i will accept and move on..^-^

rainy days

2006-05-28T17:55:00.000+08:00

another one of my favourite days..wake up at 10 this morning cause martin say he wanna go je and do hw but later was told tat this hw meeting was postpone to 12 then the rain started to pour..waa....i was so tempted to jump into my bed again.by 12 the rain still continue to hardcore out there and i have no watsoever interest to go out in the rain.i like rainy days but i dun like to be in them..sorry martin but the rain is really dam big.*_*..lol hope u did some work there with john and the rest..
just wake up now again :D..lol after sleeping for another 4 hours but i slept veri late last time cause my sis finally came home from china at 3 a.m and i of course have to stay up to recieve my gift: a new nike shoe though i dun know is real or fake...
ok...something just happen and is not very pleasant but i not going to elaborate since it is settled but there goes my gd mood for the day...zzz...so hard to get a gd day nowadays and it had to be spoiled..sigh...time to get down to do some homework..so far did a el comphre though not much but as least it is a start..target for the week:finish all hw!!!

2006-05-25T18:54:00.000+08:00

waa..finally dry all my stuff after 2 hours of hardcore drying..this is like i have totally no luck when going to queensway to buy anything at any time and this time is like only went with tues to look at bballs then got drench like siao.shop there for 1 hour plus then tues saw the ball tat he finally like and tat ball cost 129 bucks-.-...among all the other balls there he choose this expensive one because of its 'feel'...but sorry tues tat ball is too ex for me to buy for u..lol..choose another one ba..
yesterday at tat niao niao thing in which the 'pillars' of rv went is too crap but make some sense..it is time to study some stuff after playing for so long...my resolution is tat i will try and only play on the weekends only which will leave the weekdays to buck up but words r worthless la...got to really try to make a diff after all this is the 'final stretch'.lol...
really wonder where i can go after the o's..like a lot of pple applying for dsa and the cutoff points for jcs is getting lower and lower making my choice lesser and lesser..sigh...even if i get a score of 10 for o's i won't even know where to go for now..competition like getting more and more tough and results for o seems like it won't make a diff unless u score a 6...some many pple r going to jcs through all other ways..
tsktsk...dun think too much better..lol..just try to do my best so tat it will not be disappointing even if it is not the very outstanding one..and lastly...
boon i wish u lots of luck for your dsa cause u r gonna need them..~.-

bleaching

2006-05-21T18:22:00.000+08:00

lol..spent this weekend watching bleach but still cannot finish the whole series..too much liao.suddenly feel that poning sat promo is such a correct choice.i cannot imagine drilling in the hot sun for 6 hours straight and y did i even consider going for it?and to those who went, gd luk in acheving something out of it..lol.bleach really getting more and more interesting liao and for those who haven't watch it before it is a really nice anime and the fact tat youtube provide so much of this kind of stuff..this is a veri cheap and nice method of spending some free time..
yesterday mum shock me a bit by asking me if i wanna go hongkong during the june holidays..hmm a veri tempting offer in fact but i am shock by the fact tat she still willing to go oversea in june instead of asking me to study..i also not sure if i should go as my result really is damm bad...like wat mr choy say ' dun seems to have learn anything for the past 2 years'..
tsktsk..so many things tat have to be given up for another cause but will the result be satisfying enough for all the sacrifices made?seems quite ironical tat mrs look asked me to do a compo on choices over the weekend..things often have to be given up but everyone have the choice to give up some while keeping others tat they treasure..

apple;orange;mango

2006-05-18T21:25:00.000+08:00

woah!at last mange to change the blogskin..lol.spend the lst 2 hours struggling with it.blah..cannot blame me cause i too IT idiot liao.just now wasted the perfect afternoon on something veri lame and boring which is doing nothing-.-.At first tues,yanhao and me was deciding should we go for bowling,a movie or play bball then we couldn't come to a decision(not surprising)THEN we use apple;orange;mango to decide.i forget which one represent wat liao but tues choose the option to go yanhao's house to play bball.first big mistake.then on the mrt yanhao say his bball got no air liao and his pump got no needle..ok...we went to ntuc to buy a pump which i gave to yanhao as his bday present^-^.then at yanhao house he uses his bday present to pump the ball and we trusted him to this task.second big mistake.as yanhao is born with EXTRAORDINARLY strength he manage to somehow broke the pipe of the pump-.-.we were left with no other choice but to use his old pump with the new needle.third big mistake.for some fuking weird reason the new needle and his old pump could not work well and instead of pumping in air it let out air-.-.then realli no choice liao we went to kfc have dinner and went on an hour trip on 176 home.wat a well spent afternoon-.-.THEN now i am stuck with my cl eassy due 2moro with my eyelid shutting off..zzz

tired

2006-05-17T19:02:00.000+08:00

lol..seems like i am a guy with low energy..just play 2 hours of bball with jian,tues and yanhao no more strength liao..today is like super super sian.first period got back amaths paper and to my expectation i did not mange to get an A1 like i had plan-.-lol..just as usual get the other extreme end of the grade.somemore for the whole day got to endure shijie zhuaing beside me about how sad he is about his B4 as he is expecting an A1.waaa nearly pinch his cute face out..lol.Then during PDP lum and mdam lalitha was debating about the FREEDOM of sacking teachers and lum wanted to have guo lanhua and mrs look sack-.- .but is like they r not like the best teacher la but not tat bad to the extent of sacking.spend the whole assembly sleeping then still got to listen to crappy shyt after tat and as boon say this is like army boot camp..lol
trying to improve my blog..searching for a nice blog skin but found none till now so if anyone know of any nice ones let me know pls ;)

33

2006-05-16T21:42:00.000+08:00

lol..tats my l1r5 for now..bleah..still sucks like siao.at first still hope to get below 30 for mid year one but sigh..still failed badly..now all my hope is pin on amaths(though there is not much hope).
The ideal situation is tat i get i get an A1 for amaths and tat will greatly reduce my l1r5 to 28-.-lol..think too much liao.np getting more and more suk liao..promo suks and the fuking madm for wat reason made me stand up after the promo while the others sit for some fuking reason..this sat still got drill promo shyt feel like going leh..zzz..wa seibei tired liao..dun wanna write anymore. so long for tonite

boring day

2006-05-15T18:04:00.000+08:00

waa today seibei sian..at school slack the whole day but at least receive my first and last gd news for the mid year.wahoo!A2 for history.WAHAA..but sadly this a2 become a c5 due to my ss..haix..still cannot make it but heck la..wat over is over.Mr choy emphasise a lot tat this june holidays is the last chance we can make use of but nt la...i like never study before during holis..maybe realli need to pia a bit liao.2moro still got promo shyt..sian la realli dun feel like going..go liao also no use cause never study at all then still got to bring full u..just now look still ask a few of use(including me) to go for el remindial to ANALYSE our eassy but i think veri useful leh the session..is like just sit there the crappy woman anyhow point out a few mistake and say this is SIMPLE GRAMMER MISTAKE and we shouldn't be making it..wat crap la.this is just a waste of time.then after this VERI USEFUL el remindial went to shoot some basket then realise my shooting realli suks big time..is like plain cok eye and serious parallax error la..the ball will like fly side ways..zzz..blah..just got to practise more if not during pe lesson class match with 4L i also cannot help much*_*..hungry liao..better start cooking my dinner if not nothing to eat liao..lol

failed mugger

2006-05-14T21:23:00.000+08:00

lol..dam boring now..got nothing to do so write a blog for fun.sigh...i was so depressed for the last 3 days that i dun even talk much.Thursday got quite a shock by my results 4 failing sub out of 5 and the final one tat i receive was like emaths and i fuking mange to fail it somehow and i was like wtf?emaths is like one of the few sub tat i could at least get a pass and now i fail emaths for some fuking reason the rest of the subs got hope leh...sigh...i was like aiming for full pass and i got this shyt for mid year.Getting prepare to get cb by mum liao but i realli like got study la fuk but still fail..this week sure tio nag like siao.
This few days play dota also no mood resulting in massive feeding on my part..luckily ben,tues,martin and wj is hot so never tio trash.Then this afternoon dunno for wat fuk reason again go and agitate martin.Sorry martin tat was not an intentional act but i was just too fuk up with my results.sigh...dunno wat kind of results to expect now..dun have any high hopes now just pray dun keep failing liao